...the dreaded weekend...

Get ready..
Prepare..
It's almost here.
Mother's Day 2009 is going to come in with a bang and go out with a blast.. tables will wait, customers will line up. Moms with oxygen tanks and walkers, wheel chairs and sons with Dockers.. All in line for prime rib and fine wine..
They'll go to the home,
to pick up their moms..
They'll bring her back after dinner..
And pat themselves on the back.

But mom doesn't want prime rib..
She doesn't want soup..
She doesn't want wine..
Guess what she wants? Attention.. and thanks. And praise..

As a server, I will tell you the worst day to be a customer is Mother's Day .. Do mom a favor, see her more than just one day a year. And if you can't, make sure the one day you see her don't spend it in a loud and crowded restaurant..

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..Just a quick thought..

Why do hot dog and food truck vendors look so shady?

Not saying they are.. Just saying most look it.

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The swine flu food

I've been updating constantly all weekend about the swine flu outbreak at the Schmuckraker site, and I'm about ready to go nuts from just reading about it. See, I'm a little bit of a hypochondriac.. So the outbreak of a global pandemic is probably enough to send me soaring into a state of personal panic.

But one interesting aspect a little related to the point of the Soup on my Fly blog: Food. And in this matter, pork.

It appears, according to the government, that you can't get the swine flu from eating pork. Just as, I suppose you can't get the bird flu from eating bird..?

I guess.

But I can almost think a drop off on pork sales will occur.. Good thing the news of the swine flu didn't really start getting covered until after Easter, when hams across America were prepped with the finest drizzles of pineapples and brown sugar..

I think there is also a good question as to whether something like this, if it continues to dominate the news this week, will start to make even more people consider staying home from restaurants..?

Too early to tell. Not too early to take precautions.. And never too late to eat a pork sandwich.

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Socialism in the food industry

Who splits tips?

I was asked a few weeks ago by a fellow server: What is socialism? Obviously they heard Republicans claiming that it was socialism that Obama wanted. I didn't want to get into a political argument or talk about who I voted for, so instead described socialism the best way I could to someone who never voted until last year: It's when you split tips. She got it, quickly.

The idea of splitting around the house can have serious drawbacks. Of course, everyone leaves with the same share. But if you bust your ass for 5 hours to make 80 or 90 bucks but leave with 55 or 60 since everyone splits even around the house, you're obviously going to be a little peeved. And conversely, if you take the laid back approach and make only 40 but leave with 70, you're sitting pretty.

Splitting tips has other serious drawbacks when you split with kitchen staff or buspersons, which many places do. Especially buspersons, who are supposed to be making minimum wage anywhere, and not the low server wage of $2.83, or as the federal standard says, $2.13..

And the kitchen staff? Who didn't wait on a table and should be compensated by the owners of the facility getting a cut is even worse.

At my job of secondary existence, under most occasions, splitting around the house with servers is typically the norm. And again, with it comes arguments, hostility over someone else being "lazy" or not doing enough.. and also coming with it, often leaving the restaurant with a substantially lower amount of money than what I saw my hands taking off of tables..

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THE FALL OF GORDON RAMSAY!

Gordon Ramsay dropped off the list of the world's 50 best restaurants.. His restaurant was 13 last year, but in 2009 he failed to even make the top 100!

And the beat goes on..

Ramsay, best known for the screaming escapades weekly on HELL'S KITCHEN, in which he whittles down the egos of chefs and forces them into embarrassing and obnoxious situations, is taking the survey "with a pinch of salt", according to an emailed statement from his public relations company.. Sauce Communications. br>
Sauce Communications...? How cute..
Bloody f&*&*ing cute..

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The story of the bogus waiter

..What server doesn't dream of doing this? The AP reporting on the bogus waiter that ended up swiping cash from customers.. More from the AP:

HOBOKEN, N.J. – Police say a man posing as a waiter collected $186 in cash from diners at two restaurants in New Jersey and walked out with the money in his pocket.

Diners described the bogus waiter as a spikey-haired 20-something wearing a dark blue or black button-down shirt, yellow tie and khaki pants.

Police say he approached two women dining at Hobson's Choice in Hoboken, N.J. around 7:20 p.m. on Thursday. He asked if they needed anything else before paying. They said no and handed him $90 in cash.

About two hours later he approached three women dining at Margherita's Pizza and Cafe. He asked if they were ready to pay, took $96 and never returned with their change.

Was it the economy that did this? Was it the fact that it's simply easy in so many places?

One thing that makes me constantly question things: Those chain restaurants where the overbearing servers have the wad of cash in their pockets and there is no register to deal with. I understand they are responsible and probably risk a job if they lose the legal tender.. but be that as it may, how often does a business lose money? What steps are in place to watch the server handle that cash?

And beyond that, the bogus waiter story makes me think this will happen more often. Go to a chain of your choice, dress like the servers, it's not that hard. Normally black shirt and black pants, that's the trendy thing now, along with square plates. And walk to a table that didn't see you sitting there, pretend you're a waiter, and the rest will be history. Of course when you're caught you'll be arrested and incarcerated for the pitiful amount of change you have remaining from your small-town heist.. But maybe you at least have a story to tell others while you're penned up in prison gear.

One word of caution, of course: If you are a 20-something spikey haired thin kid that does it, those other prisoners will love ya...

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Five parties in one day...

..is just a little too much. Three funerals at the same time.. then only hours later a complete reset for 150 kids for a high school basketball banquet and another room for a 45-person bridal shower.

And speaking of bridal showers, that may soon be added to my list of most hated parties.. Still topping the list though are class reunions.. Although a group of feisty Chardonnay drinking girls with attitude because one is opening a room full of gifts costing well over $12,000 total is enough to make skin crawl, class reunions still have that special touch of snobbishness..

And making matters worse: It was so far the most beautiful day of the year.. At least 340 people were able to leave and enjoy it.. while the servers cleaned up after them.

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Easter Sunday .. and funerals beforehand

A funeral dinner today set the tone for the weekend.. Not enough food, not enough seating, and not nearly enough patience..

It may not be the busiest holiday of the year, but it's certainly the preview of the next one and busiest: Mother's day..

Good luck to all. Before you know it, you'll be home, seeing what leftovers of ham and potatoes exist.. and you'll be too sick of food to even eat.

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Is there a Toothpick protocol?

What is the best way to give a customer a requested toothpick?

On a plate..
In the hand?
Mouth to mouth?

Feedback would be appreciated.

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What is the most important job in a restaurant?

The food chain of a restaurant could be long--especially if you're talking about the typical corporate restaurant.. A corporate restaurant is one run more like a government agency.. Strict controls over food, controls over workers.. the proper belts and socks are necessary.

But in the small town small time food joints, what matters most? The manager? Managers may say so..
The server? Servers think so ..
The chef?
Chefs know so.

I argue that, despite my history as a server, that the chef is the ultimate end all with a restaurant.. The food will make or break the entire establishment..

Servers need to know their job and serve in proper ways.. Make sure things in the front of the house look classy. Management.. well.. Needs to simply stay out of the way.

A family member of mine recently began working for a certain unnamed corporate establishment. It's a process. The customer is simply a number. Get them in, get them out.. Bring the check quickly to discourage dessert. Tables have to be turned..
But the management within this type of a corporate structure appears more eager to recite the things they learned at college business classes as opposed to real life restaurants..

Regardless of the management and food service, the food itself will determine whether someone comes back. A bad experience may result from a shoddy server, but a case of food poisoning will forever close a company..

Servers, I am one of you. But I argue we in the end are replaceable. The management is too.. The chefs could, if they are good be too good to lose.

At least we all agree that management can botch up more than fix..

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