FAT DUCK UPDATE: THE VOMIT ENDS

Yes, I said "fat duck"..But say it fast ten times and you're not saying fat duck anymore..

Back in March of this year, Soup on my Fly reported on some rumblings in the tumblings in Britain at an expensive restaurant called the Fat Duck -- it was prestigious and pricey. And Soup on my Fly's ending observation concluded that the food from the Fat Duck gave the most expensive and explosive diarrhea on earth..

The New York TIMES is now reporting how it all happened at the Duck: Bad shellfish and bad hygiene.

Lots of bang for the buck at the Duck..

Porcelain thrones lined with gold .. ridding the body of that Foi Gras and shrimp salad..

The HPA report from Britain concluded, " These included a delayed response to the incident, staff working when they should have been off sick, and the wrong environmental cleaning products being used"

The report also mentioned oyster problems and clams.

But it doesn't end there for the vomit lined with gold.

Fat Duck's oyster supplier, Colchester Oyster Fishery, said, "The HPA inspectors have found traces of norovirus in our oysters, and in other produce at the restaurant which we did not supply. It happened in January and February when winter vomiting disease is quite common" Graham Larkin from the oyster company also said his company was a victim too, because of water contamination at a sewage treatment plant in Colchester. Incidentally, Larkin from the oyster company is allergic to oysters...

Whether the rich and famous stop eating at the Fat Duck remains to be seen, but just weeks ago, the Fat Duck for a perfect 10 out of 10 rating from the Good Food Guide 2010 .. Maybe just about the oysters for a bit?

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A BAD DAY FOR A WHITE WEDDING

..I pity couples when their wedding day has to take place on what should be a beautiful day but the weather doesn't cooperate..

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9/11 eight years later

..It's interesting. A part of my memory of that brutally cruel day eight years ago actually involves a restaurant. I worked the evening of Tuesday September 11 2001. It was a Rotary party at 5:30 at a now defunct restaurant called Henry's Family Dining. I remember some vague things .. I don't recall if they ate or not, but I do recall a dismissal early of their meeting due to the tragic events of the day ..

Time goes by so fast..

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The Labor Day class reunion.....

50 years later..
A few people looked like they needed a juicer to grind up their salads..

It's been a long weekend.

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..In the annals of 'tacky wedding moments'

It's not enough that the wedding was late because the limo got pulled over by cops on the way to the reception -- although it was a 'practical joke' .. (One that the limo driver, however, was not in on....)

It was still not enough that the groomsman during dinner chose to dry-hump the running water fountain in front of the both families ..

It still, after all that, wasn't enough that someone in the bridal party decided it was funny to get a fire extinguisher and spray it all over the hallways and bathroom area of the reception hall..

With all these tacky wedding moments, the most tacky was still to come.. The moment when the DJ, at the request of the bridal party, dedicated a song to the bride: A unedited version of the song "Crazy Bitch" by Buckcherry.

The song played during the prime time of post-dessert dancing.. The reception lit up with excitement .. Dry humping ensued.. and pole dancing.. And respectable people suddenly became sexually perverse caricatures of themselves...

As grandma looked on..
Break me down, you got a lovely face
We're going to your place
And now you got to freak me out
Scream so loud, getting f--- laid
You want me to stay, but I got to make

There was little shock, besides the wait staff and kitchen staff that overheard the outside antics. They had to listen a few times before the conclusion was made: That is the unedited version!

But you f--- so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

The white haired senior members of both families looked a little stunned. Their faces twitched and moved.. Their eyebrows raised..

You're so fine, it won't be a loss
Cashing in the rocks, just to get you face to face

Baby girl
You want it all
To be a star
You'll have to go down
Take it off
No need to talk
You're crazy
But I like the way you f-- me

Yes, indeed.. the most tacky moment of all...

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LABOR DAY WEEKEND BEGINS...

The sun is shining.. temperatures are comfortable.. it's late summer and you can feel that hint of the early fall majesty.

And someone picked today for a wedding .. and two classes picked tomorrow to reunite.. There goes the weekend.

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WHEN BANG FOR THE BUCK IS OUTRIGHT DISGUSTING

Have you ever been told by people you worked with or friends that there's a "great place" that gives you a lot of food? Ever been led down that path? Have you ever been informed of "really good steaks" at the local "hole in the wall"?

I work pretty far from where I live, and where I live ..? Eh some good places but not as many as you'd hope for. But the place I work has a lot of places -- minus the adjective "good" before "places" ..

One such place, which will remain nameless, was attended the other evening for my birthday dinner with my wife Tara and a friend.. I was told, of course, of reasonable prices and really great steak--and a bang for the buck.

Besides the dead flies on the table my wife noted existing when we got there, it was dark and bar-like. I had hope still, though.. even though I swept dust and debris from the table in front of me.

The waitress was overly giddy--almost to a point where it appeared she was on a hallucinogen. No joke, it even appeared that she floated with a tray in her hand.

I ordered my NY Strip steak medium well.. My wife got a steak with mushroom and onions, and my friend got baked fish..

The salads were first. It appeared as though each of us had a head of lettuce along with 15 sliced carrots on top. By the time we got the meals the only thing from the salads eaten were the carrots. We never even got to the lettuce.

My friend's fish was a sizable portion, it looked OK. My steak was gigantic to the point where it was disgusting. It had the slight appearance of a horse's appendage. And finally, my wife's Delmonico, as noted by her, had so many mushrooms and onions on it that it looked like a severed head with a wig on top!

We tried plowing through the steaks..we attempted to get halfway done. The food was so-so.. but the over sized portions got to the point where each of us got sick.. It was so much that it was pointless to even keep eating. It stop being quaint. The cocaine-waitress stopped by cute. The flies stopped being funny. It all became way too much and too disgusting..

While I'll admit I'm cheap and can appreciate a bang for the buck, there's something to be said about correct portion sizes.

Incidentally, Tuesday night (the night I went) was all you can eat crab legs night. The table next to me was being served their crab legs in gigantic red buckets along with hot mugs of melted butter.

Way too much for the buck. If there is a such thing. This *nameless* restaurant had just that.

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ANNOUNCEMENT..

SOUPONMYFLY.COM is here..

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It's been a bit..

Took a few weeks off from the restaurant scene.. it is a second job after all. Came back swinging tonight with another wedding ..

A few notes of randomness with past and present on the mind:

1) Owners and managers: If you write a note for employees to do something *since you're too afraid of confrontation to say it to their faces* make sure it's spelled right. Also, don't use slang.. it's a little tacky. For example, don't say "If you're gonna start a wash load finish it" .. The proper English may be: "Please make sure all laundry is completed before leaving." That's a little better, eh?

2) Workers, employees, bartenders: Stop sneaking drinks behind the backs of owners. Seriously, you're that much of lushes that you can't wait until either a) the shift ends or b) you get home and pay for your own? You're that desperate that you have to steal from the employer?

3) Wedding planners: Please, seriously, what's with this new fad of chair covers? I know, it's been a while since this has come about.. but it's hardly helpful to servers that are tripping on gigantic oversized pink bows on the backs of chairs with covers that hang too low to the floor that you're almost tripping your way to spilled coffee or a tray of broken dishes.

Just a few thoughts..
Also .. another note: Where exactly did summer go and why didn't it want to stay just a little longer..?

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Liquor licenses in Utah down to 1!!

Ahh, yes, the fun world of government-controlled bad habits..

From the Deseret News:

New Utah restaurants hoping to offer patrons a full selection of beer, wine and spirits will soon be lining up for that privilege as only a single license of that type remains available.

The Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control Commission issued seven full-service liquor licenses Thursday and will likely have to start a waiting list at its next scheduled meeting in September. Commission spokeswoman Sharon Mackay said while businesses committed to the full-service license may have to wait, there is a fallback plan when the count goes to zero.

"We'll be asking applicants to opt for a limited-service license in the event no full-service licenses are available," Mackay said. "We have eleven of those … when they're out, they can still get a beer license."

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