...THE FIRST WEEKEND OF SUMMER.. AT WORK

I had a sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that people would come in for the Sunday buffet.. Head waitress said, "nah," no worries.. she thought she'd be out of the job by 2pm.. easy money.. Who wants a brunch buffet when the sun is shining and the weather is warm!? Who wants to be stuck inside a restaurant with outdated decor when there is a world to eat up outside!? ... about 100 people, that's who..

Regardless of whether or not it's the first weekend of summer, or winter for that matter, the simple restaurant rule to adhere to: Never assume. Never think no one will show, so only set half the tables instead of all of them.. never make half a bowl of salad instead of a full bowl.. never just skimp on the plates on the buffet because, who in their right minds will come in..? And cooks: Never assume you only have to make half the food you have in stock just because it's sunny and warm.

In the restaurant world, the thing you are the most unprepared for will happen first. Don't have shrimp left in the house? You'll get half the house ordering shrimp scampi.. Out of rare prime rib?? The very next table you wait on will have 5 people that want rare prime rib. In the world of the food business, the customer is always right.. And the server never is.

So .. next Memorial Day, safe yourself the agony of an insane rush to set tables, get more salads, cut more dessert, and make more food.

And last, but now least *and maybe the most important* .. Owners: Don't call the dishwasher and tell him not to come simply because families will be enjoying picnics and families........ it's brunch. There's plenty of time for a picnic later. But during brunch, chances are they'll be at your buffet..

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MOTHER'S DAY WENT GREAT..

NO COMPLAINTS. I can't believe it. It was smooth as could be.. And I really don't know why.

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....THE CALENDER DOESN'T LIE..

It's almost Mother's Day..

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A restaurant review.....

...I tend to leave the names of the places I eat that I review nameless. I almost named the one tonight because of how disappointing it was.. For a few months, I wanted to eat there.. Heard some good about it, some bad too.

So why not try it out. And after a particularly bad day at the full time job, a steak and a beer sounded nice in the city of Pottsville, PA..

So off to the eatery my wife Tara and I went..

First off, the Coors light draft I had was supposed to be cooled to the perfect temperature. Instead, it was watery.. My wife wanted Blue Moon. And though "the bartender just changed" to a new keg, the Blue Moon was suddenly sold out. Things happen. So Labatt Blue it was for the both of us..

Next up, the bread was sorta... fingered? ..it was overly cooked rolls (or maybe just buns from a bag) with overly sugary butter. Salad next, that was ok.. Soup was a little bland. So why not salt to spice it up!

Unfortunately, the salt shaker was awfully sweet. As a matter of fact, careful inspection only later proved that the salt shaker was filled with sugar.. The waitress kindly thanked us for laughing it off, and also mentioned it was the second time this week that it happened.

Then the dinner.. Oh, how I waited for a good steak.. and how my wife waited for a nicely seared crab cake. And what we got looked like a bad attempt at homeless shelter food.

When my wife cut into her crab cake, it sort of collapsed on itself. My steak was a rare half inch thick..no flavoring..no garlic salt.. Nadda.

Isn't it a shame when months of waiting goes by only have the place fall flat? Isn't it a shame..

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Bubbles vs confetti: Which is more annoying to clean after a wedding?

Soapy carpet.. slippery floors. That is from bubbles..
But the confetti, littering table clothes the morning after a big wedding.. now that is a problem.

Forgive me for being judgemental, but there is just something tacky about both bubbles and confetti.. I had leaves at my own wedding, I will admit. It was October 20, 2007.. The fall leaves theme looked good--and really easy to clean for the servers. But confetti? No.. not easy.

So for that reason, I pick the most annoying cleanup to be due to confetti..

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...what better for a Sunday...

...than a lunch buffet 100 boy scouts for dinner.. It's going to be a long day.

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Turning Japaneseo I really think so

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...Finger fried good?

Last week, I choked on a KFC grilled chicken breast.. While it was my own fault, it would also be my fault if I were to eat the new Double Down.. And perhaps, health wise, both would have the same effect on me: The emergency room.

Luckily for my human form, I'm still alive. Instead of getting lodged in my throat or going into my lungs, the broke just cut me up before it was passed in some form...

However, on a danger level, it could be argued that the danger of the Double Down is much more extreme. But I still secretly want to try it.. If I do, and don't end up in the emergency room, I'll let you know how it was...

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The tables are set but I don't want to go in.. Easter 2010-- good luck everyone

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Cracked up: A follow up on the Outback story

I didn't want to leave people hanging.. I wanted to explain one of the weirdest dining experiences of my life. The Outback steakhouse--my first time at an Outback, and I like Texas Roadhouse, so I figured I'd like Outback, plus I had a gift card--that my wife and I went to was weird. Our bartender was nice while we waited for a table.. She said to us, "what would you like?" and we answered in kind. It was the way it should be.

Then came the table.. and "Nick" the waiter. He had a nervous twitch, tried to finish our statements before we said them, attempted to explain dinners we didn't ask about, and nervously wrote down our order with a wide-eyed gaze at us and his tablet. He ran away with a frightened look telling us he'd bring our bread. When he did, he shook his head and hands frantically and told us to enjoy. I have to say, though, Nick was a hell of a nice guy. He got our order right, got it out quick enough (a little too quick) and we left a decent tip.

The coke-head serving tables next to us, though, was a different story. He forgot something at everyone's table. He spilled things on people. He bumped his head off of the lights above their table. He was sweating profusely, and running around like a rabbit in traffic. He was dodging back and forth between other servers... And he even tried to take someone's plate while the guy was still cutting his steak!

I think the problem as I posted to this site while I was there was the fact that they were either nervous with the large Saturday night crowd, or there were on cocaine. I think either is a possibility. And also, it seemed that management was trying to use excessive speed to get tables turned. Which I understand. But management's decision to do that can really mess with the head of a nervous person, or for that matter a crackhead.

Would I go back to Outback again? .. maybe. But I won't want to.

As I said before, I like the Texas Roadhouse. For being a chain-type restaurant, the steak is exceptional, even better than some independently owned steakhouses. But it's not as great as a Mexican restaurant in Minersville, PA named Casa de Tellez.. If you're in the area, you have to try the steak.. It will be a little expensive at market price, and it will take some time for you to get your dinner, but it may very well be the greatest steak that is served on earth, and blows any steak from the Final Cut steakhouse or Ruth's Chris out of the water.

As for Outback, my wife and I left the scene of what appeared to be a future crime. One of those crackheads is gonna blow. From blow.

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