Wedding fear: Bloody steaks can turn your grandmother into a blood thirsty vampire!

I'm not naming names. But don't order steaks at weddings.

Ok, ok. Here we go, again, no names being mentioned.

I often think people that order that thick cut fillet mignons be a choice for guests at their wedding are simply trying to impress others. Really. Chicken, fish, beef, all that is fine. But intricately cooked steaks? It can lead to problems.

Recently, a wedding ordered steaks. I have to say the kitchen tried their best.. the guests of honor were going to get hot steaks straight off the grill. The bad thing is because dinner service at a wedding has to stick to the confines set already in the contract, you never know with surety how that thick fillet will end up being in the middle. Often times it's red, which I suppose hardcore carnivores believe is the best way to eat meat, but also sometimes it's rare. Bloody rare, to be exact.

A few years ago, a wedding was held where I work.. Steaks, again at that wedding, were the choice meat for guests. The haddock eaters lucked out at that one. That particular wedding featured lots of blood. The amount of blood would have made Charles Manson excited beyond his wildest expectations. The grandmother of the bride at that wedding was in an advanced age of her life, most likely beyond 86. She had bright white hair.. she didn't look 86, though. She sadly looked older. But she did a polka so I think she felt young. Nonetheless, the lights dimmed, she cut into her steak.. and blood poured out. A few servers asked if she wanted it cooked longer, she said no. We gave up. And at the end, the shiny white haired grandmother literally had blood streaming down her face from her mouth, eyes bright in the dim dinner lights. She looked a little like a vampire on the hunt for blood. In this case, there was no reason to hunt, the blood was served to her. Immediately after, a bathroom trip was made.

Hopefully prospective brides and grooms reading thing will take this story to heart. Don't let your grandmother with nice bright white hair become the next blood-thirsty Dracula.. at least not at your wedding.