The chain (restaurants) that bind us (up)

If you haven't been to the OLIVE GARDEN lately, and enjoy consuming a reckless amount of unhealthy chemically processed foods, then have they got the deal for you: Imagine the task consuming never ending pasta for a month. And salad. And bread. And toilet-cleansing Coke products. For seven weeks! And for just a mere $100!

Could it get any more heart-ending than that?
Before your palpitate into oblivion, there are some problems.
First off, the website is having more problems than Healthcare.gov. Lots of 404 errors and endless timeouts trying to sign up for the body fat increasing deal. 

But 1000 lucky folks bought the pass in just 45 minutes--a sellout promotion for the Darden restaurant. They still own this one, unlike their former friends at the Red Lobster.

For those 1000 people, they are about to enjoy this, based on 7 straight days of pasta for 7 straight weeks, as the pass allows them to enjoy, and from the Olive Garden's own website (I picked Chicken Parm because that's my favorite--when it's not from the OLIVE GARDEN):

• 30,380 calories
• 1,323 grams of fat
• 77,000+ milligrams of sodium
• Only 196 grams of fiber.

You'll need to increase the fiber to release the toxins of such high amounts of life-ending pasta dinners.

Oh, and those numbers are conservative, as they don't feature the fun of the high fructose bread and insane amounts of sodium-leveled salad dressing.

So eat up.

Enjoy..

See you in 7 weeks, lucky 1000.

Here's to you, troopers 'til the end!